Breaking The Circle

Discussing the work of Viktor Frankl, author Robert C. Leslie, in Jesus and Logotherapy, skewers the excuse that people are "victims" of their "conditioning":

The decisive factor does not lie in the conditions: the determining element is found in personal responses to the conditions. "Freedom," as Frankl puts it, "is freedom to take a stand toward conditions, but it is not freedom from conditions." Man is responsible for how he handles the conditions which life presents to him. Great as the condition of depth psychology has been to our deeper understanding of forces at work beneath the surface in man, we are in danger of overlooking the most human aspect of life, if we fail to hold man as accountable and responsible for his action in the present and in the future. Conscious decision with a definite goal in mind can break the circle of behavior dictated by past conditioning.

I realize that many people have grown up more wounded than I, more scarred by the pain inflicted by dysfunctional parents, traumatic childhood events, psychic trauma. Most of the pain inflicted upon me has been delivered while I was an adult and, presumably, better able to bear its burden. I get it: some people are emotionally crippled from the get-go through no fault of their own.

And now what? At some point, you have to accept the fact that you're given a choice: suck the lemons and wither, or make lemonade. Hard cheese, no?

I had lunch today with one of my favorite clients, a woman who was dealt a hand in life that might have bankrupted many, but that she turned around into a winner. She's a senior executive of a wild-and-woolly bank filled with good old boys nurtured in the fertile soil of the Lone Star State. It's not an environment for the timid or the psychologically fragile. She's neither, but unlike some of her male counterparts, she's not an over-the-top hard-ass. Instead, she is just one cool kitten.

For every woman who falls prey to the male cowards who try to make them dependent by ripping apart their self-esteem, assuring them that without their male protector, they'll be nothing, here's some free advice: dump the loser and sign off with the only decent song Madonna ever wrote: "You'll See."

Comments

[Jogger, Texas Ranger]

When it comes to Madonna's songs, "decent" is a relative thing.

[Kevin]

I never had you pegged for a relativist, Jogger.

[Valerie]

Amen. But, somehow putting Madonna and Frankl together on the same post seems a bit, um, irreverent, shall we say?

[Kevin]

I'm nothing if not "irreverent." :-)

[Valerie]

True, that.