Some more lessons I learned this week:
- If a person ten years ago was duplicitous, callous towards the feelings of others, and hypersensitive to any criticism of themselves, a decade is not likely to rehabilitate these traits.
- History repeats itself, especially for those too ignorant to learn from it.
- My mentor's advice to me from 25 years ago on how to disengage from a business or personal relationship with maximum success and minimal damage was proven once again this week: If you want the other person to act in a certain way that may hurt them, you have to make them believe that the decision is theirs. At the end of the day, when you want the “other guy” to walk through a door, you have to open that door for him, give him a reason to walk through it, make certain that he can walk through it with his dignity intact, and when he closes it, make him think he’s closing it on you, not on himself.
- If you've lost respect for the other party to the relationship because you think that they lack fundamental integrity, there is absolutely no upside in being "honest" about your thoughts. In the first place, you might be wrong. In the second place, you might be the kettle calling the pot black. In the third place, there is almost always another alternative that will hurt them a lot less.
- I can live with the fact that the other person thinks I’m the asshole in any given incident, even if I don't think that I am, because on a number of other levels, they are likely correct.
- That statement that was made many years ago that cratered your previous relationship and that's never been adequately explained by your "partner"? It's not going away.
- When you lose a “close” friend, especially if it’s the result of an argument or misunderstanding over something trivial, it’s a sad occasion. When you lose them because you’ve decided, after not only a great deal of thought, but of prayer, that either they have not been truthful with you about a matter of fundamental importance to your trust in one another, or, that they have been truthful about that matter but that the “truth” demonstrates that the relationship is based upon serious character flaws, the loss of that friend is an occasion for relief.
- Yes, when it comes to learning life's lessons, you are the tortoise and not the hare.
- There is a reason that you slept soundly last night for the first time in a week.
[Edited to remove potentially personally identifiable information]